Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
