I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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