I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
