I don't think brook has ever known best
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
