shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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