Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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