Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
