My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
