Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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