So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
