So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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