you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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