why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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