is your mom at the bar?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
