I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
