Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
