is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
