Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
the day after is always just damage control
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
