2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
