I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
