My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
