I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You are the jesus of drinking
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
