You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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