i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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