hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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