I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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