We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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