I hope mine doesn't look like that
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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