guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
