bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
