I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
