im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
