Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
