2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
