question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
