you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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