we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
