Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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