I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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