dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
if i died would you start the facebook group?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
