glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
