we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
