So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
