you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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