Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
