remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
