The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
