Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
