This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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