the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
