You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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