Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
