AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
