Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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