He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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