Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
