my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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