Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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