if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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