I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
